The #1 Reason Christians Experience Unfulfilled Lives

I grew up surrounded by people who always looked for shortcuts in life.

So from a very early age, that was my approach as well.

This got me involved with theft, manipulation, and lying to get what I wanted, and the list goes on.

In my teenage years, it even got me involved with selling drugs.

My pursuit of pleasure and what I thought were the finer things in life was all about getting what i wanted as fast as possible.

I thought working hard was for chumps who weren't smart enough to find easier ways, like the saying goes, "work smarter, not harder."

Sadly, I believed I was smarter than others around me, including the police.

After being proven wrong on many occasions in the streets and with the law, I knew I was missing something.

At that time, I wasn't a believer obviously, but I did believe in a higher power.

One day, while I was doing a bid in the county jail, I came across a book by Napoleon Hill called "The Laws of Success".

This was a super thick book; I don't know how many pages it was, but it was an intimidating book. However, I had all the time in the world sitting in that cell, so I read it.

I wasn't conscious of it at that time, but that book shifted the way I looked at success and personal development.

Up until that point, I didn't even know what personal development was, let alone how to apply it to my life.

For the first time, I really started to connect the dots between success and taking personal responsibility, also known as "personal development".

I read that book from front to back a couple of times while I was in there. I started to apply the basic principles even while I was still locked up and It helped me feel more in control of my life.

Looking back at some of the things I learned from that book, I realize now that there are a lot of Biblical principles in that book, like sowing and reaping, and "the golden rule" as he called it, which means doing to others as you want done to yourself.

I believe that much of the self-improvement material that we have today gets its concepts and principles from the Bible while removing their spiritual roots.

The enemy loves to steal, pervert and counterfeit what God has already established and done.

Even though I learned a lot It wasn't enough to get me out of the street life at that time, but it definitely highlighted one of the most important things I've ever learned, and that's the concept of personal development.

This caused me to be way more intentional and conscious of the things I was doing. Sadly, even if they weren't for the right reasons.

That's why this is a double-edged sword because it can be used for good or evil.

There is not a day that goes by when I regret taking full responsibility for my own personal growth.

It has helped me in every area of my life that I can think of. It has even helped me spiritually by keeping myself accountable and committed to my devotion to Christ and the work he has commissioned me to do.

I'm currently in better shape mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually than I've ever been. All glory and honor go to the Lord because without Him, I could do nothing, but with Him, I can do anything, including being empowered by His Spirit to work on myself.

The Bible calls us to sanctify ourselves. (Leviticus 20:7)

One of my personal favorite benefits has been how it has impacted my relationships with my wife, kids, friends, and family.

I'm way more intentional and present with them, which creates an overall better connection. That's what it's about.

God created us for relationships, and anything that helps us grow in that area should be taken seriously.

There are a lot of good people out there who find themselves stuck unable to move forward or make any kind of progress because of simply neglecting their own personal development.

This also affects the people around you, and if you have children, they also start to grow with the same characteristics.

Not being consciously active in your personal development can lead to all kinds of problems that can ruin your life.

At best you will stay stuck right where you are. Being self-aware is super important, and if you're not working on yourself, you will never know what your strengths and weaknesses are to even grow.

You can see a huge difference in the confidence and self-esteem of people who actively work on themselves compared to those who do not.

The world knows and understands this well, but I see a lack of it in the body of Christ.

I've even had conversations with people who reject it and say things like, "Oh, it's all in God's hands," completely neglecting their responsibility to work on themselves. That's just being religious.

People who neglect this area struggle with feelings and thoughts of being worthless, which is 100% not true, but it causes them to make one bad decision after another.

Being stuck in this state of being produces a lack of direction, and if you don't know where you're going in life, you will never get there. This can also hinder God's purpose for your life.

The Bible calls us to be vessels fit for the master's use, not out of shape. (2 Timothy 2:21)

Think about all the missed opportunities that result from not developing your skills. If you're not preparing yourself now, you won't be ready for them when they come in the future either.

Managing your time is another area of personal development, and if you don't manage your time wisely, you can become overwhelmed with life.

This can lead to people giving up, neglecting loved ones, and the cycle continues.

You can get stuck in the fear of change and then not having the ability to if you wanted, and that's a dangerous combination.

This is where you see a lot of people running to cope with life's problems in unhealthy ways, like using drugs and alcohol.

Let's be clear here, I'm not saying everyone that neglects their personal development will become an addict, but it definitely doesn't help.

It's really hard to overcome the things that life throws at us if we are not working on ourselves and growing.

Kids would never go to the next grade if they didn't pass their tests, and life can be the same way. Don't expect to move forward if you're not willing to put in the work.

There are relationships and experiences we want to have but if were not willing to do what it takes we may never have them.

I don't know about you, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.

If we're not making progress, we will never feel fulfillment at the highest levels available to us, and we will keep running back to those cheap dopamine hits and distracting ourselves from living a purposeful life.

This is one of the reasons why many people are broke. They lack the skills necessary to make and invest money, which often comes from a lack of working on themselves and learning.

Something I wish I would have understood a long time ago is that ideas without the skills to bring them to life will keep you chasing dreams and never reaching them.

Your skills are what bring value to the marketplace, and if you don't have them, people will not be willing to pay you the amount of money that you want to make.

I hope you can see now how many areas of life this can impact. Your overall satisfaction and happiness can be affected by this.

Personal development evolves your capabilities, potential, skills, and awareness.

It gives you an overall better quality of life. Remember, it's a lifelong journey, not something you just do once and you're good; it's a lifestyle.

All you need to do is be willing to learn and put in the work, even if it's just in the smallest ways at first. You're investing in yourself and it will compound over time.

With that being said, patience is a must. One thing I see in the personal development space is people being way too hard on themselves, which I've even seen lead to depression and seeing themselves as worthless because they're getting their identity from what they do and not who they are in Christ.

Any time you start feeling worthless, you have taken your eyes off Jesus and you will fall.

Peter is a good example of this when he stepped out onto the water.

He was actually walking on water, but he started paying attention to the waves and the wind, and then he fell.

Why? Because he took his eyes off Jesus. Even though Jesus was right there to pick him up when he fell, let's try to avoid this as much as possible.

So we need to find a balance between not being too passive and not going overboard to the point where we start condemning ourselves when we fail.

Failure itself is not a bad thing. It is the path to success and when we realize this it's a game changer.

I see personal development as a tool that is available to all of us to chip away at aspects of ourselves that we want to improve in.

It's like chiseling away at a huge rock to uncover a better version of yourself.

I stopped saying "best version of yourself" a while ago because, to me, it sells false hope. Because if we ever "reach it," we will always say there is a better version, which can become discouraging very quickly.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Personal development is about taking control of your life and empowering you to make a greater impact in the world and advance the Kingdom of God.

You must understand that you are your most important asset.

There are a lot of people out there who convince themselves that they don't have time to take care of themselves.

It's funny how people can find time to binge-watch their favorite show, hang out with friends, and scroll on social media for hours, but can't find time to invest in themselves.

I believe we all have time, but the problem is that we don't prioritize our personal growth. It's like we think that it just happens on its own.

If you and your time are worth more than money, then why do you give yourself and your time away for far less than you're worth, working at a job that you probably don't even like?

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer

The bible says in Proverbs 29:18 - Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law.

What I get from this is that people don't have vision for the future because they don't want to do what it takes to grow and be discipline.

I see this, even when it comes to people accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior. They don't want to pay the cost to be His disciple.

The responsibility in their minds is too much. They want to live their own lives the way they want to and not have to obey God, which is a form of idolatry because they make themselves their own God.

I go into more detail in my book Basic Discipleship here:https://www.rajeahmurray.com/bonus-gifts

People are always looking for an excuse not to do what they're supposed to. I hear people say this all the time, "I'm just not motivated."

Then my question is, who are you waiting on to motivate you to do what you're supposed to be doing for yourself?

When King David didn't have anyone to motivate him, he motivated himself in the Lord. (1 Samuel 30:6) Saying you're not motivated is just another way of shifting responsibility.

Having money to pay for a life coach or a program is amazing, but with all the free resources we have available today, there is no excuse.

Now, don't get me wrong, there is a lot of garbage being pushed out there in the self-help space. So, pray and ask the Lord to guide you through all of it.

Don't be scared to fail or worry about what others may think.

Remember Peter, just get out of the boat. Do you think he cared about what the other disciples thought of him? He was focused on the goal: "Jesus".

Just a little disclaimer, this can be a lonely road because when you start working on yourself, others may perceive you through the lens of their own insecurities and not want to be around you because they don't want to work on themselves.

With any growth comes change, not just in you but also around you, and this is a good thing because it filters out what is unnecessary in our lives. Sadly, even people sometimes.

On the journey of self-development.

You become much more self-aware of your identity in Christ, your morals and values, your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes.

This improves your relationships and helps you make better decisions in life.

It makes you feel better about yourself. Your overall self-confidence and your ability to bounce back when you slip up increases as well.

This helps you grow as a overcomer in a way that you don't regret later on when looking back.

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - C.S. Lewis

You'll find yourself enjoying life more, and one of the reasons is that you'll actually start to know what makes you happy.

Think about it for a minute: the better you become holistically as a person, the better version of yourself you can give to others and build long lasting meaningful relationships.

Financially as you build your skills, the more valuable you become in the marketplace, and you will get paid more whether you work for someone else or have your own business.

You want to be able to give as much value as possible.

We live in a very selfish world. It is what it is. People want what's in it for them most of the time. When you understand this, you can make yourself more valuable, which equals greater financial stability and security.

Remember, you are investing in yourself. Why? Because you're worth it, and it will benefit everyone around you.

There are so many benefits that come from being intentional about your own growth that I can't even come close to covering them all.

There are things you don't have in your life right now because you lack the skills to obtain them.

As hard as that may sound it's awesome because all you have to do is learn the skills it takes to obtain them.

We all know that mental and physical health is a significant issue in our world today. Depression is at an all-time high, even within the body of Christ, and people are simply not physically in shape.

A lot of it can be overcome when we take care of ourselves, from what you put into your body to what you allow into your mind.

This doesn't take away from the fact that some people need expert help and different supplements to assist them, but don't fall into the trap of hopelessness and a victim's mindset.

When you start to really work on yourself it empowers you to take control of your life and make conscious decisions the impact you and the people around you for the better.

You become the driver of your own destiny and not just some passive observer watching life go by.

A part of the fruit of the spirit is self-control, which means that the Holy Spirit empowers us to do what we need to do. As believers we have no excuse.

The number one reason believers live unfulfilled lives is because they neglect being intentional about their role as a co-laborer with Christ in their own sanctification process.

This includes not intentionally renewing their minds, dying to their flesh, taking care of their mental, physical, and emotional well-being, and structuring their own lives in a way that is most effective for carrying God's purposes for their lives.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Christ strengthens us to do what we need to do. Including working on ourselves. We can't do this without Him.

Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you on this journey.

Start off by taking out a piece of paper and writing down these answers. Ask yourself questions like:

• Why do you want to work on yourself?

• What's going to happen if you don't work on yourself?

• What areas of your life do you want to improve or change?

• What are your strengths and weaknesses?

• What are your values, beliefs, and priorities?

• What are your short-term and long-term goals?

• What do you want out of life?

• What skills do you want to learn?

• What does a better version of you look like?

• If money wasn't an issue what do you see yourself doing everyday?

These are just some examples, but feel free to continue asking yourself questions.

After you have answered them, create an action plan.

What are the steps you can take to achieve your goals?

What resources do you have or need?

Take advantage of all the free information available on the internet. Begin by researching and learning about the specific areas you want to grow in.

You can do this through books, online courses, articles, videos on YouTube. Just make it a point to do something and take the first steps.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." - Lao Tzu

As you start to make progress, reflect on what's working best for you and double down on that. If you like watching videos instead of reading, then do that, but try to always take notes to go over later if possible.

Start conversations with others about self-improvement. Find some people who you look up to and ask them for advice.

Most of the time, people like sharing what they know, so don't be scared to ask.

Be patient with yourself and celebrate the small wins along the way.

Journaling is also a great way to track your progress and just get things out of your head.

If you can afford a life coach, then I would highly suggest that.

Accountability is crucial. If you can't find anyone personally to hold you accountable, you might want to use social media as a public journal to track your progress and hold you accountable.

Social accountability will definitely put some fire under your butt. You don't want to publicly say you're going to do something and then not do it.

The goal is to find what works for you and just do it.

Personal development is "personal". What may work for someone else may not work for you, and that's okay.

But when you're serious, it doesn't take long to start experiencing the benefits of taking care of yourself.

Focus is a superpower, so take time out to find ways that help you focus. If you have to get away to gain clarity and do the work you need to do, then do that.

Create a schedule and a daily routine list to be more productive. I personally like a checklist because I can easily get off track.

Meditate and work on being more present. With all the distractions in this world, we need to cleanse our mind of all the junk, and meditation is a really good way of doing that.

It also helps you not to be overwhelmed because one of the keys to personal growth is staying committed.

You will have bumps in the road, but you must keep pressing forward. If you don't do this for yourself, no one else will.

It's up to you to do what it takes to go to the next level. Always keep Jesus at the center of everything, but don't expect Him to do what He has empowered you to do.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson 2

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